


gaze upon a star

by minecraftyoutuberthings



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Comfort probably, Gen, Hurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28589760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minecraftyoutuberthings/pseuds/minecraftyoutuberthings
Summary: “We step left, we stay and fight for our country. We step right, we leave, run away, abandon L’manberg.” Quackity sighs. “I hope we choose correctly, Tubbo.”In lieu of response, Tubbo closes his eyes and starts to count down. “3, 2, 1.”He opens his eyes to see Quackity on the opposite side of the table.On the left side...A world in which Tubbo steps right and leaves L’manberg. It does not stop him from seeing his friends, each in varying states of distress.Where did it all go wrong?
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	gaze upon a star

“When have your discs ever _fucking_ mattered?”

Tommy goes silent. 

“I thought it was me and you against the world,” Tubbo says, incredulously, pacing back and forth in front of the bench. “Remember that, Tommy? Remember when your friends mattered more to you than some _stupid, damned discs_ that—all they do is play music!”

Tubbo stomps to the jukebox, ripping the disc from it. “The same incessant, boring tune,” he lifts his arm above the edge of the cliff the bench overlooks, “the same shit rhythm, the _bastard_ of a song that cost me my ONE friend!”

Tommy’s face looks like how Tubbo feels,: outraged, conflicted. “Y—You can’t _say_ that, Tubbo! They’re my discs, man, I need them!”

“Clearly,” Tubbo says, withdrawing his hand from the edge and holding the disc out to Tommy, “you need them more than your best friend.”

“I’m leaving. I’m sorry, Tommy, really, I _am,_ but I can’t deal with this—this constant war. Things were going so well for us, man.” A beat. “Maybe Technoblade was right,” he mutters, and Tommy looks down at Tubbo, shock written all over his face before it hardens into something new. 

“Don’t go,” Tommy says. “Stay. Fight for the discs.”

Tubbo laughs and it comes out as something bittersweet. “I really, really hate you sometimes, you know that? I don’t care about the discs, Tommy, I care about _you._ Why else am I asking you to run away away with me? I don’t want to see you die.”

“Me neither.” Tommy sighs. “Go.” 

“Go?” 

_”Go,_ damnit, go live your life and collect your bees away from all of this but _promise_ me, Tubbo, that you’ll come back when it’s all over. When I have my discs and Dream is six feet in the ground, then you come back. And we live in the country we fought for and we live freely." Tommy's voice is solemn and heart-wrenching at the same time, monotone and emotional on all of the wrong beats. 

"Thank you, Tommy." Tubbo takes a step back. "Good luck." 

He starts walking away, anywhere, anywhere but here. Faintly, he hears a "coward," muttered behind him, but when he whips his head around, Tubbo only sees Tommy sitting on the bench, staring pensively into the sunset. 

* * *

Ranboo is too tall to fit into Tommy's house. It would be comedic, seeing him fold into himself just to cramp himself into the hut of a building. Instead, the cloud of nostalgia plaguing him ever since the conversation Tubbo had with Tommy thickens into something heavy and foreboding.

"Ranboo," he says, closing the chest he was going through. It was filled with eggs from one of Sapnap's pranks, but previously, had mass amounts of cobblestone and even some of Tubbo's tools. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted a tour." 

"I thought Quackity gave you one."

"Well, he wasn't exactly _good_ at it. And you lived here for a long time, right? I—I mean, you don't have to. I just remembered a bit from the last time you toured me around and I can't really remember it so i thought it would be nice. Especially because you're leaving."

Tubbo freezes. "Who told you?"

"Quackity." 

"Aaagh, of course, of course. I can tour you, sure. But where do you want to go? I mean, you can see, L'manberg doesn't have much of its land anymore."

"I really liked the ocean monument. I want to see it one last time, and take a picture. Before I forget it."

"But I thought the water hurts you?" 

Ranboo smiles. "I won't fall out." 

Half an hour later, having traveling through the nether portal and hole in the nether roof, along the ice bridge, through Tubbo's jungle base and across the ocean, they finally arrive at the monument. He is deathly aware that this is his last time travelling through the nether portal for what feels like forever. He knows that he will return to L'manberg after all the wars are over, after they finally achieve peace. 

But Tubbo can't imagine a world where L'manberg completely and irrevocably wins this war. A reality in which there will be peace and only peace afterwards. He believed it, believed it with his entire soul even after Techno unleased the withers, even since Wilbur pressed the button. Believed it when Wilbur came back to them in the form of a ghost, believed it when Phil came to live with them and Fundy and Ghostbur started to reunite. He wanted to, and he did believe that they would finally, _finally_ find peace.

And then Tommy went and fucked everything up, and he just can't _do_ this anymore.

The ice-cold, pure dread Tubbo felt when he saw Dream lay down line after line of obsidian is not a feeling that he will forget anytime soon. It feels as if something within him changed, that day. He can call it a loss of innocence. Maybe maturity. Maybe he is sick and tired of working for something that no one else wants. That he and only he seems to have any attachment to, because god-fucking-damnit, Wilbur doesn't care, Tommy doesn't care, Fundy doesn't care, Niki doesn't care and he feels _so very alone._

He is sick of pretending. Sick of surrounding himself with people that don't care for things that mean the world to him, sick of the fake reassurements and the lies, the lies that built their very country, the ones that will bring it to its knees for the third time. Sick of Dream and war that he shouldn't care for ~~but he does~~.

Tubbo is tired. So, so tired.

"Ranboo!" he yells, down at the bottom of the monument, hearing his own voice echo off of glass walls "Do you remember how to get back?"

"Yes!" he screams back. 

"Okay! I'm gonna head out, then!"

"Bye!"

Tubbo places a boat down and starts to row in the opposite direction of his jungle base. He does not have many items on him, just food and iron and wood. The air is sharp and salty, wind making his hair fly in wild directions. If he stops rowing for even a second, a swarm of Drowned will attack him. Tirelessly, he rows and rows and rows until finally, he reaches land. Land no one has ever seen before during the entire existence of the server.

God, what is he doing? Can he really survive out here—survive when he can't even build a proper home for himself? Live with himself after _abandoning_ Tommy? 

Can he truly be free?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA what if i took the plot that i don't like from the DSMP and yeeted it into the atmosphere. Hope you enjoyed!


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